As I write this, I’m still trying to understand how two years have passed. It seems impossible for me to understand. I’m not sure life went quite as fast as that before. Maybe it did. Maybe I was so pre occupied in happiness and contentment to realise. A slow ferris wheel rather than the acceleratedContinue reading “2 years in grief”
Category Archives: Grieving
Why people are jealous of a widows escapism.
My 7th flight in 365 days. This is something that people feel a need to comment on. “Where are you going this time”, “You are away more than you are home”, “what a lovely life you lead”, “wow how on earth do you pay for that”, “should you take the children out of school thisContinue reading “Why people are jealous of a widows escapism.”
Stuck still
When I started this blog, I wanted to use it to both help myself and help others. Little did I know that I would suppress the majority of my grief, thus making it hard to talk about in this blog, or even compartmentalise my trauma. My coping mechanisms have not been healthy, to say theContinue reading “Stuck still”
The yearn to converse with you
It’s like an ache, not just this realisation that it is impossible, but an actual physical sensation. Starting as a burning flutter in the chest, a butterfly on fire trapped in a cage, knocking against the chest walls willing to escape. The ache travels up the throat, grasping around it. The brains way of remindingContinue reading “The yearn to converse with you”
The trauma of a loved ones cancer diagnosis
Today marks one year since my husband’s diagnosis. 365 days, since life changed in an instant. You can read about what led to my husbands diagnosis here. The reality is that when you are forced to face something scary, your body has this amazing response of protection. Your body goes into a kind of survival.Continue reading “The trauma of a loved ones cancer diagnosis”
Today marks 5 months
It’s been 5 months. I thought I’d be ok by now or at least somewhat more ok, functioning, working. Doing most of the things that I used to do before my life is turned upside down. I feel as lost today as I did 5 months ago. To be honests as soon as Daniel gotContinue reading “Today marks 5 months”
10 reasons why Ricky Gervais’ After life resonates with me as a new Widow.
This blog Contains series spoilers Despite my friends and family telling me ‘it is too soon’, ‘it will be too hard’ to watch all three seasons of After life, It was the most cathartic thing I have done since starting my new journey into widow hood. After life was a series both my Husband andContinue reading “10 reasons why Ricky Gervais’ After life resonates with me as a new Widow.”
Taking the good days with the bad
Yesterday I had my first very public breakdown/ panic attack. I don’t know if I am embarrassed today or not. I don’t know what I feel. Sometimes the sadness in my eyes can’t be hidden, which is fine, sometimes tears roll down my face and can’t be stopped, but yesterday as I was stood inContinue reading “Taking the good days with the bad”
The stillness after death
The weeks that follow bereavement seems to be the quietest of all. My voice, my writing have been my survival mode since March 2021, that’s exactly why I started this blog only two weeks after Daniel passed, yet as time has gone by, I felt my words and my thoughts escaping me more and more.Continue reading “The stillness after death”
Surviving Widowhood 